John Carter

To actually enjoy this movie you MUST not ask a single question. You must just go along with the plot and not question a single thing about the movie. Such questions as

  1. Why are there humans on Mars?
  2. How did John learn to walk so quickly?
  3. Why does the bad guys plan not make any sense?
  4. Why didn’t John bury his wife and child in the same grave?
  5. How did John fall for the Martian woman so quickly?
  6. Why does the Martian queen look so much older than John?
  7. Why do the Martians seem shocked that Earth has water while Mars equally has water?
  8. Why did the magic dudes even go to Earth in the first place?

The story is about John Carter, a Civil War veteran, who has been transported to Mars and fights a galactic war on the red planet.  Since the gravity is lesser on Mars, John is like a superhero. He can leap tall distances in a single bound. More powerful than a locomotive. And most importantly, can dazzle the minds with his idiotic discussion making skills.

For some reason, not questioning it, some magical super people come to Mars and try to run it by corrupting the leaders and starting a war. John is transported to the red planet and is found by a tribe of 4 armed aliens.

You know what, I don’t even feel like writing about this anymore. This movie was God awful. The storyline constantly doesn’t make any sense. The magic guys want this dictator to marry this queen just to kill her. That’s the main storyline to this overall disappointing movie.

This movie gets a 1/5. Even with all the special effects and action scenes, this movie was still terrible. There is nothing that saves this movie. Don’t see it.

Joe Reyes

 

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s