John Carter

To actually enjoy this movie you MUST not ask a single question. You must just go along with the plot and not question a single thing about the movie. Such questions as

  1. Why are there humans on Mars?
  2. How did John learn to walk so quickly?
  3. Why does the bad guys plan not make any sense?
  4. Why didn’t John bury his wife and child in the same grave?
  5. How did John fall for the Martian woman so quickly?
  6. Why does the Martian queen look so much older than John?
  7. Why do the Martians seem shocked that Earth has water while Mars equally has water?
  8. Why did the magic dudes even go to Earth in the first place?

The story is about John Carter, a Civil War veteran, who has been transported to Mars and fights a galactic war on the red planet.  Since the gravity is lesser on Mars, John is like a superhero. He can leap tall distances in a single bound. More powerful than a locomotive. And most importantly, can dazzle the minds with his idiotic discussion making skills.

For some reason, not questioning it, some magical super people come to Mars and try to run it by corrupting the leaders and starting a war. John is transported to the red planet and is found by a tribe of 4 armed aliens.

You know what, I don’t even feel like writing about this anymore. This movie was God awful. The storyline constantly doesn’t make any sense. The magic guys want this dictator to marry this queen just to kill her. That’s the main storyline to this overall disappointing movie.

This movie gets a 1/5. Even with all the special effects and action scenes, this movie was still terrible. There is nothing that saves this movie. Don’t see it.

Joe Reyes




Far Cry 3 Review

I played the last Far Cry and I really wasn’t impressed with it. It was kind of cool. A lot of free roaming and you can mostly just go around and kill savages. It was OK to say the least. Now Far Cry 3….AMAZING!

This is THE GAME to buy if you enjoy open world gaming. The story is great and compelling, the action is constant and the amount of things you can do is almost unreal. Sometimes I don’t even do quests. I could just go around and hunt animals and gather plants, but have fun doing it and not consider it tedious.

The story is simple yet complex. You play an American tourist on vacation with your friends and brothers. You get captured by pirates and are going to be ransomed off to your family. You escape and go on a quest to get your friends back before they are killed or sold.

The island your on is controlled by pirates and other factions fighting for control of the island. You do missions like liberate camps and fix radio towers and the villager’s give you supplies and money. There are also a number of other missions like bounty hunter missions and racing games. All this just keeps adding to the never ending gameplay experience.

Now let me discuss why hunting is such a fun feature in the game. In the beginning you only can carry the one weapon. When you get certain types of animal’s skins you can make pouches to expand the amount of weapons you can carry at one time. So in the beginning of the game I found myself hunting for skins to upgrade my character.

With gathering plants you can make medicines and all types of quick enhancements to your character, such as more health for a certain time and becoming faster. Again, you get certain animal skins and you can carry more medicines. So, it’s good to go around hunting to make the gameplay more fun.

You can even hunt sharks too! The easiest way is to get on a boat and literally run them over and get out to get the skin. Just a little tip for new players of the game.

My favorite character is the man who captures you, Vaas. Incredible writing went into this character. He is deranged and smart at the same time. He kills your brother in the beginning of the game and then gives you a few seconds to run before hunting you down. The man is out of his mind at times, going on rants about family and murder.

This game should win game of the year. I thought Skyrim was a great game. The tagline of Far Cry 3 is “This is Skyrim, with guns!” and that’s what it is. You level your guy up, go on missions and can almost do anything you want. Sometimes you can just be walking on a path and a caravan of pirates drive by and you get into a fire fight. You can find yourself walking through the woods and then get attacked by a group of dogs.

The game gets a perfect 5/5, there isn’t anything wrong with this game. The only problem is that it has to end eventually. Oh, I almost forgot, it has Co-Op. great Co-Op missions where you play a separate storyline on the island doing missions and liberating camps. So not only does the game have an amazing single player, it has a Co-Op mode that is just as good. I completely recommend this game and hope you all enjoy.

Joe Reyes





                Long have I awaited this movie coming out. I’m a HUGE Bond fan. I think  Craig is the best Bond ever and I will write another article explaining that. This wasn’t the best Bond movie. I was actually alittle disappointed with the way this movie progressed.

                First, a spoiler. Skyfall? What is it? The answer to that reminded me of a Family Guy clip.


That’s kind of what Skyfall means.

The plot is very simple and the main villain, Silva, has a main goal that in the end confuses me. Without giving away too much, his plan is to kill M. So this man spent the bulk of many years becoming the head of a criminal empire and his main goal is killing a woman who let him out to die.

In the new Batman movie, I was upset that Bane’s master plan was blowing up Gotham. I was mad because he became a suicide bomber, rather than just blowing it up and staying alive to inflict more chaos upon the world. Silva eventually has a plan like that. Not saying he blows himself up, in the end he doesn’t kill himself, but something similar to that happens.

It’s not a spoiler, but in one scene Silva puts the gun to M’s head and puts his head next to hers so the bullet will kill them both and says “Do it. Set us both free.”

The action was intense from beginning to end. The comedy is what made the movie even better. It kind of reverted back to the old one liner Bond days. Where everything Bond says is funny. In one almost shocking scene, Bond is strapped to a chair with Silva in front of him. Silva, who I think is gay, starts rubbing Bond’s legs and says “This is probably your first time” Bond looks at him and says “Who says this is my first time?” and Silva almost faints after hearing that.

The ending was the only problem. It was really dark. And a lot of it didn’t make sense. The guy wanted to kill M, so why just Bond and M go to a house in the middle of nowhere waiting for Silva? A lot didn’t make sense. What annoyed me was that Silva was smarter than everyone! Even the new Q. Silva’s plan was too perfectly executed.

Even though it sounds like I didn’t enjoy it, I still would see it again. A 4/5 and a must see for Bond fans.

Joe Reyes

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Black Ops 2

In the opening trailer, we see a character we though died in the first Black Ops. I read pages of theories to see if any of mine match and none have. For those of you don’t know the main character Mason watch as his friend Woods tackles a man out a window and explodes. Another thing to point out is that a lot of what Mason saw was a lie, because he was brainwashed into seeing things that weren’t there.

This was a huge revelation at the end of the game. Some things we saw never happened and Mason was implanted to secretly work for another faction without his knowledge. All this leaves me to believe that Mason never saw Woods die. Maybe he pushed the man out the window who exploded and Woods was never in the same room as Mason at that time.

It’s like those movies where you realize that everything was a dream at the end. Woods wasn’t fake; he was a character in the game that existed. I’m just saying that if Mason saw him die then there might be a chance that he didn’t actually see him die.

But now to the game itself, it looks great. It’s all future warfare. The guns and equipment are all enhanced in a way that is believable. I didn’t read much on the story of the game because I didn’t want to spoil it for myself, but this franchise is smart in its approach and rarely disappoints.

A fan favorite, Zombies Mode, is back and better than ever. You and 3 other friends can try to survive with hordes of zombies coming after you in various levels. With DLCs coming out almost monthly, the gaming experience never gets dull.

I will be purchasing Black Ops 2 when it releases November 13 of this year and write a full review on the game and its story.

Joe Reyes

Resident Evil 6 Review

Don’t play as Jake to start off the game! Sorry, just had to start with that. This was great game, not as good as 5 in my opinion. I’m still giving this 5/5, but not the best Resident Evil game made. But let’s get back to my opening statement. You play through 3 storylines. Leon, Chris and Jake. And I will go through each storyline briefly.

Leon’s story is the typical Resident Evil experience. You fight zombies to start off with. You do stupid puzzles to open up doors and get keys. The puzzles are annoying, like shoot the bells to start the fires to open the gate the get the key. That’s actually a part of the mission.

With Leon’s storyline you try to uncover the conspiracy and stop the infection. You combat hordes of zombies and are giving little ammo. We’re talking a very limited amount of ammo. There are times that I had to use a knife for a part of the game because I had to save my ammo for the boss. Each storyline does this, which is really stupid.

Chris’s you have a more run-and-gun type story. You play as a soldier and fight mutated soldiers with guns. When you play as Chris there is constant disappointment. Not with his storyline, but in general with Chris. All his people end up dying. He is a Captain and has a group of soldiers always with him. They all end up dying every mission. You can’t save any of them.

Chris’s story is about revenge, against those who are responsible for the infection. There are no puzzles, no stupid keys to get. It’s just run, shoot and more running. It’s fun, don’t get me wrong. It’s very straight forward to play. You’re entertained the whole time.

With Jake’s storyline, you really don’t have a plan. You blood can cure the infection and you’re mostly being thrown around from place to place until the final battle. Since you’re on the other end of the world for most of the game, you’re not in contact with the other 2 storylines, so you’re missing out on 90% of what’s going on.

There are times with Jake’s storyline, where you just run into Chris and Leon. You would be fighting a boss and BAM there’s Chris. You run through a hallway and BAM there’s Leon fighting the main boss. Playing as Jake first is just confusing. You got to play is as Leon, then Chris, then Jake because that’s the best way to do it. Otherwise it’s just confusing.

Another problem with this game is you don’t upgrade the guns. You’re not even giving that many to use. In 5, you would get 3 different machine guns, a ton of pistols and rifles. In 6, you get a pistol, a shotgun, a rifle and a special weapon. And that’s it! They even point out where the guns are and are needed to beat the game.

After writing this I’m giving it a 4/5. I was disappointed in the end with the way this game was presented. They took out important pieces and gave us partners that can’t be killed in battle. Yea, your partner can’t die in battle. So you can just sit back while your partner can kill everything and you don’t have to waste a precious bullet.

Again a 4/5.

Joe Reyes




Looper Review

It’s rare for a movie in this day and age to have such an original concept. Looper delivers as an action hit and also delivers as a personal story. The concept is simple, yet complex. In the future, the Mafia sends the targets that are to be killed through time, where a Mafia member is waiting for them in the past to kill and dispose of the body.

The people in the past are called Loopers. Joseph Gordon Levitt plays Joe, a Looper junkie just looking for a way to end this. The way your get out of being a Looper is to kill yourself. Not yourself in the present, yourself in the future. When the Mafia ends your contract with them, they send you, 30 years in the future to you in the past for you to kill yourself.

Each kill gives the Looper silver bricks, which is rare in the present time. When you kill yourself you get gold bricks. So Joe is just waiting and hoping to eventually kill himself. The Looper waits at a location and when at a certain time, a person appears with a bag on their head. The Looper simply shoots the person, takes the payment, and disposes the body.

Now to where the story gets intense for Joe. What happens when yourself appears before you and escapes? And what if yourself in the future wants revenge and wants to kill the Mafia? This is problematic for Joe for a number of reasons. 1 beings since he failed the Mafia will come looking for past Joe to get future Joe. If Current Joe is killed than Future Joe is killed. That’s how the rules of this movie works.

2 Joe has to stop his future self from destroying the Mafia that he’s in now. Also Future Joe has another agenda. He has to kill a child, who 30 years from now is the head of the Mafia. There are 3 possible children that are his targets and Future Joe decides to kill them all just in case.

As he’s running away from the Mafia, Current Joe finds a woman on a farm and her child. Who (spoiler) is one of the kids Future Joe has to kill. So with the Mafia and Future Joe coming after this child and himself Joe has to defend the family and for all intents and purposes, his future.

A 5/5 and a must see movie.

Joe Reyes




Taken 2

This is the most interesting concept for a movie I have ever seen. For years we have watched bad guys get killed over and over again with no repercussions to the main character. We rarely see a movie, where the bad guy’s friends want revenge.

I think this movie will start a new trend of movies coming out. First of all, Taken1 was great, a 5/5 to say the least. Taken2 has what you would expect and more. Just from the name alone, you can imagine it’s about someone getting kidnapped and Liam Neeson saving that person. It kind of reminds me when the Hangover 2 came out. People complained it was too much like the first one. Well what else could you expect from a sequel?

Taken2 adds a whole new premise by having the revenge aspect to it. Who would’ve thought that these few random people that Neeson killed had a family, gang member friends who want revenge. I think this will be a huge hit.

Yes, we do see movies where revenge for what happens in the first one happens, but that’s usually when the main villain of the first one dies and in the second one someone tries to avenge his death. This hasn’t happened with random no nothing characters.

I am already giving this movie a predicted 5/5. Not an Oscar nominee however. I think it’s going to be more of an Action Movie Classic. Box office hit, but that’s it.

Joe Reyes