Superman/Batman: Public Enemies

If you ever wanted to see Batman and Superman pound the crap out of everything that moves, then this is the movie for you. I only have 1 question that seems to happen in every Justice League movie. How does Lex Luthor keep getting elected president? Somehow Luthor got elected and his first act as president, to make Batman and Superman fugitives.

Luthor started a superhuman employment service where they serve the US government. Any hero who refuses will be arrested. Obviously Superman would never join forces with a man who has tried to kill him countless times and Batman is Batman so he would never join up with Luthor.

Luthor puts a 1 billion dollar bounty on the duo and then the all hell breaks through. Every villain imaginable comes after them. The bad guys aren’t a problem, but the heroes that Luthor now employs are the deadliest to the duo. Captain Atom, Power Girl, Major Force, Captain Marvel and Hawkman all joined the US government and are trying to bring them in.

The problems only get worse as a meteorite is on a crash course for Earth. So besides fighting a smorgasbord of other supers, there is a meteorite on its way to kill everyone.

This was a very action packed movie that well worth the watch. The only problem I have is with Luthor getting elected….again. This is a storyline in many Justice League stories that doesn’t make any sense to me.

Besides that, loved the movie. The plot wasn’t so deep, but that was because of the constant action scenes. I give it a 4/5.

Joe Reyes

 

 

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Cartoons Unlimited

After getting a Microsoft Surface tablet, I needed some downloadable apps to watch shows and movies on. Sure Netflix is great, but I think I found an app that is even better. Cartoons Unlimited is an app that has a ton of cartoon shows and movies. New shows and the classics like the Flintstones and Jetsons are all on the app. Even new episodes of Bobs Burgers and Family Guy are there.

The app is free and legal somehow. There are so many movies there this app is too good to pass up. Check it out and be sure to stop on back to my site when I write full reviews about the movies and shows that I watch on it.

Joe Reyes

 

Interstellar: The Worst Movie of the Decade

 

Yes, you read that correctly. A blockbuster hit that won awards and has been nominated for 5 Oscars, I think is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. This movie was incredibly boring, outrageously long and confusing to the point where I had to research message boards to find out what was going on. Also, the music was entirely too loud. It might’ve been the theater I was at (I doubt it), but the music was so loud it drowned out some of the key dialogue.

When I saw the trailer, I figured it was going to be a bad movie. Because from what I gathered, the movie was about the Earth becoming uninhabitable and Matthew McConaughey going to other planets to find one that can sustain life for humans to travel to. This isn’t a plotline that looks to be filled with many twists and turns. Just seems like McConaughey would go to planet 1 and say “Eh” and go to planet 2 and see how it is.

McConaughey plays Cooper, a former pilot who eventually becomes the savior of the world…sorta. I was surprised that McConaughey wasn’t the writer on this movie, because it seems that Cooper could not die even though there were many times for it to happen.

The human race is dying of starvation I think. Giant sandstorms wipe away crop fields and causing people to suffocate. The only hope is to find another place for humans to live. Luckily, a wormhole has appeared in our solar system put by….aliens they think. The aliens must’ve known that Earth was in trouble and created a wormhole to another galaxy with habitable worlds.

There is a lot going on in this movie. I haven’t even gotten to the backstory of Cooper and his family. Cooper is a farmer now, who lives with his father in law, son Tom and daughter Murph. Yes, Murph, because that’s a girl’s name somehow.

Murph thinks there is a ghost in the house. In her room there is a giant bookshelf, and books seem to fall randomly. Murph decides to write these occurrences. Somehow Murph ends up connecting the dropping of books into Binary and Morse code. Really? Are we just going to pretend that makes sense?

Cooper indulges Murph’s crazy theory and puts the code as coordinates on a map and follows it to a secret military base. Cooper and Murph are captured by robots, tough talking Lincoln Log looking robots.

Skipping ahead, because this review isn’t even half way through. Scientist Professor Brand has discovered the wormhole with a bunch of other scientist and have already been sending exploration groups through and are sending another team consisting of Professors Brand’s daughter Brand….yes Brand is her name, random black guy and another scientist. Cooper is sent along as well. Because apparently they want him to pilot the craft because they are in desperate need and here Cooper randomly is.

Murph cries and tries to convince Cooper to stay. She even says the Morse code spells out STAY, but Cooper leaves anyway. The team goes into cryo sleep and go through the wormhole and land on another planet.

The problem is the time this mission takes. They don’t want to be gone too long because the world is dying, apparently, so taking forever isn’t a good idea. On approaching the planets, the time increases for the amount of time on Earth. 1 hour on the planet amounts to 7 years on Earth. So there is a rush to this mission.

I don’t want to spoil the ending or the 1 twist to it in the middle too much. This movie is about a Temporal Causality Loop. Family Guy had it in an episode. Stewie created the universe and Brian questioned how Stewie could create the universe if he was born in it. Stewie explained it like this “The universe created me so I can create it so it can create me and so on”. That is this movie in a nut shell. Something happens, beyond logical reasoning and TCL is the answer to it.

This movie was awful on all fronts. Worst of all, the ending was “apparently” a tear jerker. I was watching the ending and heard a sniff a few seats over. I see a woman in tears. I turn to tell my girlfriend of the phenomenon and saw another person crying. The whole theater except me was having an emotional reaction to the scene! To quote Lou Costello “Why? I don’t know”.

I give this a 0/5. It was just a disaster in every scene. Nothing made sense and it was just so long. I’ve seen long movies without a ton of action and still thought it was good. But this movie had no redeeming qualities to it. The biggest gasp moment for me was finding out Matt Damon was in the movie.

I do give the movie a smidge of credit. They had a line that was so hysterical that I literally laughed out loud. I highlighted it for you.

Cooper: Dr. Mann there’s a 50/50 chance your gonna kill yourself.

Dr. Mann: Those are the best odds I’ve had in years.

Joe Reyes

Snowpiercer

 

This movie was a complete and utter disaster. From the plotline all the way down to the ending, Snowpiercer is a fiasco on all fronts. The movie takes place primarily on a moving train. The world is frozen over and humanity’s last hope is a self-sustaining invincible train that houses around a thousand people. The front of the train houses the rich while the tail end houses the poor.

The train travels across the world. Literally bridges are built across the water connecting to the other continents. What I don’t understand is if you built this impervious train that can withstand the frozen wasteland…..why just build a building that does the same thing? But that’s the least of this movie’s many faults.

The movie starts off in a prison break style. Curtis, the leader of this rebellion, gathers the tail end passengers to take the front of the train. This was actually interesting. Curtis had to plan out how to get through the heavily armored guards and giant metal doors.

Eventually this movie turns into a videogame-esk, in the sense that Curtis and his people fight wave after wave of enemies. Because since it’s a train, thus it is a direct path from point A to point B. In one scene the rebellion opens a door and an army of ax wielding fishermen all dressed in black are just there waiting for them.

After a medieval style battle, the train goes into a long tunnel, but thankfully the fishermen have their handy night vision goggles ready to be used at a moment’s notice. Somehow Curtis isn’t killed in this scene even though he is in the front line and the fishermen are just chopping through the rebellion. But Curtis luckily is able to shout to the other end (literally the other end of the train) to a boy who has the last pack of matches in existence to lite a series of torches to combat the night vision wearing fishermen. This scene could’ve been easily corrected by simply letting Curtis have the matches in his pocket and he lights the rags on fire.

Then it’s just train car after train car of gauntlet style choices and fight sequences. You see schools, an aquarium, dance clubs, saunas, until eventually reaching the front of the train to meet the conductor, a man named Wilford.

I don’t know what the plan was at this point. Was it to overthrown Wilford, was Curtis supposed to take over and then what? It’s a self-sustaining train on an endless loop around the world. There isn’t much need for a regime change. From the looks of it, the poor are…well poor, and the rich are richer obviously.

Was the plan to stop the train and venture out? Maybe get some more resources in a destroyed city. That would be my plan. Actually, my plan would be to have made a building and not a train. I know it’s an invincible train, but you are going on frozen tracks, sometimes high above the ocean. Sometimes the train has to barrel through ice pillars on the tracks.

And how does, arguably the worst movie of the year, end you ask? Remember, the world is frozen over. Most of the human race is destroyed. So humanities best hope to go on resides in this train. They blow up the @#$%ing train.

I don’t think a rating is necessary for this movie. I would’ve give it a 1 on action and the first 10 minutes of the movie. The planning was pretty cool, but when you learn the plan of Wilford…its just a disaster.

Joe Reyes

 

 

Filth

A very below average somewhat comedy cop drama with a good cast that nowhere lives up to an enjoyable movie. Filth tries entirely too hard to be something more. The jokes are way too disturbing and only come across as “shock value”.

The storyline isn’t even worth talking about, just boring and bland. The characters make you question why they are even police officers in the first place. James McAvoy was why I put on this movie. He rarely does a bad movie, but “rarely” means that once in a while he does a bust…this was that bust.

In short, this movie is bad. It tries to be something more than it is and takes a very odd approach to comedy. I guess the title sums it up perfectly. Filth gets a well-deserved 1/5.

Joe Reyes

 

 

Amare Stoudemire: In The Moment

I am a huge Stoudemire fan. I thought he was on pace for a Hall of Fame career, but I’m pretty sure the rest of his time in basketball will be plagued by injuries and marginal teams signing him. After a nagging back injury a few years back, Stoudemire hasn’t been 100% since.

Netflix features a very interesting documentary about Stoudemire and his road to recovery. But again, I feel that it will be all for nothing. When Stoudemire left the Phoenix Sun, he became the main man on the New York Knicks. Stoudemire was even having an MVP season in his first year with the Knicks.

The documentary shows Stoudemire’s training with Hall of Fame Center Hakeem Olajuwon. Most of Olajuwon’s game is faking defenders out with his footwork and scoring mostly uncontested. Olajuwon has basketball camps for NBA players and shows them how to play like he does.

Olajuwon showed Stoudemire over a dozen different moves and combinations. Stoudemire learned them all perfectly…..in the gym….with Olajuwon….not in a real game. In a real game Stoudemire is reduced to a 20 minute player a game. In the remaining years of his career I can see him being a 8 point scorer and grabbing maybe 7 rebounds a game. Not bad stats, but Stoudemire is getting paid way too much to be a bench player who comes in sparingly.

Stoudemire will never be at an All Star caliber again, but this was still an interesting documentary to check out. I give it a 5/5 for its insight into Stoudemire’s life and it does show a lot of his road to recovery. Even though I know it’s a futile effort, still a good watch.

Joe Reyes

Check me out on Twitter for more sports and articles @jreyes0003

 

 

Dominion

 

Who would’ve imagined that angels would be humanity’s greatest threat? Based off the movie Legion (2010), Dominion takes place 25 years after the events of that movie. The opening sequence of Dominion explains all the backstory. God has vanished. In retaliation Gabriel and his angels blamed humanity for Gods disappearance and came to Earth to wage war against man. There were some higher angels that refused to go along with Gabriel’s war, but the lower angels joined immediately.

Michael refused to blame the humans and took up his sword against Gabriel. Eventually, Michael gathered enough survivors on Earth to help combat Gabriel and his forces. There was a prophesied child that Michael believed that would be the turning point in the war that he had to save (this was the story of Legion). After a long war, Gabriel’s army retreated, but many angels still remained on Earth and the battle continues.

The problem is after all those backstory sequences; the show surprisingly takes a huge turn for the worst. Most situations and subplots are so unbelievable that they completely crucify this show. The dialogue is so cheesy that it’s a turn off to listen to at times. Motives and story structure is at such a fault that I can’t imagine how the season will progress (if it even lasts a full season).

Alex Lannen, the prophesied child that Michael saves in Legion, is a soldier living in Vegas. The whole city is a militarized outpost. There are clearly angels outside the city walls, yet Lannen still goes out by himself to do the cliché “lone gunman” thing. After a firefight with angels, Lannen is asked why he went out alone. His response “There was a Texas holdem game I had to attend”.

There is a Roman aspect to this show. The marrying off of children to strengthen political families is so unneeded that it takes away from the overwhelming plot point of THERE ARE ANGELS TRYING TO KILL US! Also some of the outfits of the women is just so obscure that it makes it look like this show takes place in a different era.

Most of this pilot episode was a collection of unneeded scenes and occurrences. The whole war storyline seems to be only a subplot of the entire storyline. Obviously the war is the biggest part, but it didn’t seem like that from the initial pilot episode.

I give this show a shocking 1/5. The ceiling was incredibly high, but failed to deliver. Unless this show makes drastic changes, I don’t see it lasting very long. I’m pretty sure most of the season is already filmed because after the show it had scenes from the upcoming season, so I don’t think an overhaul is what is going to happen. Domination is on SYFY on Thursdays at 9pm.

Joe Reyes