Way To Look At It

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Interstellar: The Worst Movie of the Decade

 

Yes, you read that correctly. A blockbuster hit that won awards and has been nominated for 5 Oscars, I think is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. This movie was incredibly boring, outrageously long and confusing to the point where I had to research message boards to find out what was going on. Also, the music was entirely too loud. It might’ve been the theater I was at (I doubt it), but the music was so loud it drowned out some of the key dialogue.

When I saw the trailer, I figured it was going to be a bad movie. Because from what I gathered, the movie was about the Earth becoming uninhabitable and Matthew McConaughey going to other planets to find one that can sustain life for humans to travel to. This isn’t a plotline that looks to be filled with many twists and turns. Just seems like McConaughey would go to planet 1 and say “Eh” and go to planet 2 and see how it is.

McConaughey plays Cooper, a former pilot who eventually becomes the savior of the world…sorta. I was surprised that McConaughey wasn’t the writer on this movie, because it seems that Cooper could not die even though there were many times for it to happen.

The human race is dying of starvation I think. Giant sandstorms wipe away crop fields and causing people to suffocate. The only hope is to find another place for humans to live. Luckily, a wormhole has appeared in our solar system put by….aliens they think. The aliens must’ve known that Earth was in trouble and created a wormhole to another galaxy with habitable worlds.

There is a lot going on in this movie. I haven’t even gotten to the backstory of Cooper and his family. Cooper is a farmer now, who lives with his father in law, son Tom and daughter Murph. Yes, Murph, because that’s a girl’s name somehow.

Murph thinks there is a ghost in the house. In her room there is a giant bookshelf, and books seem to fall randomly. Murph decides to write these occurrences. Somehow Murph ends up connecting the dropping of books into Binary and Morse code. Really? Are we just going to pretend that makes sense?

Cooper indulges Murph’s crazy theory and puts the code as coordinates on a map and follows it to a secret military base. Cooper and Murph are captured by robots, tough talking Lincoln Log looking robots.

Skipping ahead, because this review isn’t even half way through. Scientist Professor Brand has discovered the wormhole with a bunch of other scientist and have already been sending exploration groups through and are sending another team consisting of Professors Brand’s daughter Brand….yes Brand is her name, random black guy and another scientist. Cooper is sent along as well. Because apparently they want him to pilot the craft because they are in desperate need and here Cooper randomly is.

Murph cries and tries to convince Cooper to stay. She even says the Morse code spells out STAY, but Cooper leaves anyway. The team goes into cryo sleep and go through the wormhole and land on another planet.

The problem is the time this mission takes. They don’t want to be gone too long because the world is dying, apparently, so taking forever isn’t a good idea. On approaching the planets, the time increases for the amount of time on Earth. 1 hour on the planet amounts to 7 years on Earth. So there is a rush to this mission.

I don’t want to spoil the ending or the 1 twist to it in the middle too much. This movie is about a Temporal Causality Loop. Family Guy had it in an episode. Stewie created the universe and Brian questioned how Stewie could create the universe if he was born in it. Stewie explained it like this “The universe created me so I can create it so it can create me and so on”. That is this movie in a nut shell. Something happens, beyond logical reasoning and TCL is the answer to it.

This movie was awful on all fronts. Worst of all, the ending was “apparently” a tear jerker. I was watching the ending and heard a sniff a few seats over. I see a woman in tears. I turn to tell my girlfriend of the phenomenon and saw another person crying. The whole theater except me was having an emotional reaction to the scene! To quote Lou Costello “Why? I don’t know”.

I give this a 0/5. It was just a disaster in every scene. Nothing made sense and it was just so long. I’ve seen long movies without a ton of action and still thought it was good. But this movie had no redeeming qualities to it. The biggest gasp moment for me was finding out Matt Damon was in the movie.

I do give the movie a smidge of credit. They had a line that was so hysterical that I literally laughed out loud. I highlighted it for you.

Cooper: Dr. Mann there’s a 50/50 chance your gonna kill yourself.

Dr. Mann: Those are the best odds I’ve had in years.

Joe Reyes

A Complete 180: Guardians Of The Galaxy

I went from not wanting to see this movie to absolutely LOVING IT! I wrote an article about the trailer before the movie came out. I talked about how terrible the movie looked and how unlikable the characters were. I don’t take back what I said, the trailer was terrible, but the movie itself was incredible. Dare I say better than the Avengers?

I think I had more fun watching Guardians of the Galaxy than the Avengers movie. The movie was incredibly funny in a generic way and not just filled with stupid one liners. The comedy flows perfectly from the characters personalities.

The story follows Peter Quill, a self-proclaimed badass who finds treasures and sells them throughout the galaxy. He calls himself Starlord even though nobody does or barely even knows his name.

While on a mission, Quill finds a metal ball containing a very powerful stone called an Infinity Stone. A creature called Ronan the Accuser is after the Infinity Stones as well. Ronan gets word that Quill has found a stone and sends his most trusted warrior, Gamora, to retrieve the stone.

While trying to sell the stone, Quill is attacked by a pair of bounty hunters, Groot and Rocket. Groot is a living tree who can only say the words “I am Groot”. Rocket is a genetically altered raccoon who is a total badass, but has a very touching pair of moments. Gamora finds herself perfectly in the mix right as Quill is being captured by Groot and Rocket.

While in a space prison, the four characters discuss selling the stone and splitting the profits. Rocket comes up with a plan to escape the prison. They meet up with the final member of their group. A vengeful man named Drax who has a personal mission to kill Drax himself for killing his family years ago.

I was completely blown away by this movie. I can’t remember the last time I had this much fun in a theater before. Even though I still think Captain America 2 is the best Marvel movie ever made, Guardians of the Galaxy takes a narrowly close second place with a 5/5.

Joe Reyes

 

Guardians Of The Galaxy

My God this movie looks awful. I don’t like to start off a post being that negative, but I really hate seeing the trailers of this movie. It looks to be a terrible movie. The direction looks horrible and the characters are so unlikable that there doesn’t look to be many redeeming qualities to this movie. My biggest problem is that the characters look so dumb. I mean there is a raccoon with a machine gun, a tree, and just other random people.

Yes I know all I have to go on is the trailer, but the trailers really do set the tone for a movie. The only reason I might see this movie is because it ties into the Avengers and the Thanos saga. So I’m very hypocritical in my article because I will end up seeing this movie at one point.

So I’ll be writing my full review on this movie when I see it. Guardians of the Galaxy comes out August 1st, so…..who knows how it’ll turn out.

Joe Reyes

 

Mr. Fantastic

Well….I guess you had to make him. Otherwise it would be called the Fantastic 3 and that wouldn’t make any sense. He is useless across the board. Since he’s made of rubber he takes a little damage when he is hit, but not enough that he will have the people stocking up Command Points to get him.

There are so many better and cheaper characters you can get over him. Unless you want to get everyone, I don’t see a point in getting him.

Joe Reyes

 

The Thing

Much like Colossus, the Thing has a high defense and can trade blows with the toughest of enemies. He doesn’t Bleed or take any other negative Perks like that. He is a few more Command Points than Colossus, but I really don’t see why.

He’s a good pick up. No pun intended he’s a very solid character. He can Protect and take all the blows and still end up fighting. He does have a high critical hit and it comes down to preference of who you’d rather have. Personally, I think Colossus is cooler, but it’s very close to dead even.

Joe Reyes

 

John Carter

To actually enjoy this movie you MUST not ask a single question. You must just go along with the plot and not question a single thing about the movie. Such questions as

  1. Why are there humans on Mars?
  2. How did John learn to walk so quickly?
  3. Why does the bad guys plan not make any sense?
  4. Why didn’t John bury his wife and child in the same grave?
  5. How did John fall for the Martian woman so quickly?
  6. Why does the Martian queen look so much older than John?
  7. Why do the Martians seem shocked that Earth has water while Mars equally has water?
  8. Why did the magic dudes even go to Earth in the first place?

The story is about John Carter, a Civil War veteran, who has been transported to Mars and fights a galactic war on the red planet.  Since the gravity is lesser on Mars, John is like a superhero. He can leap tall distances in a single bound. More powerful than a locomotive. And most importantly, can dazzle the minds with his idiotic discussion making skills.

For some reason, not questioning it, some magical super people come to Mars and try to run it by corrupting the leaders and starting a war. John is transported to the red planet and is found by a tribe of 4 armed aliens.

You know what, I don’t even feel like writing about this anymore. This movie was God awful. The storyline constantly doesn’t make any sense. The magic guys want this dictator to marry this queen just to kill her. That’s the main storyline to this overall disappointing movie.

This movie gets a 1/5. Even with all the special effects and action scenes, this movie was still terrible. There is nothing that saves this movie. Don’t see it.

Joe Reyes